You're not my mom.

I love showering my daughters in kisses. I grab their little innocent faces, and just smother them! They pull away annoyedly, "oh mom, stop".

Emma was washing her hands with a big smile on her adorable face; the perfect time to ambush with kisses! "Muah, muah, muah, muah!", as I kissed her head, eye, nose, cheek. She tried to pull away giggling, "stop!". I responded with entitlement, "but Emma I need tons of kisses! Just let me kiss you; I'm your mom!"

Emma: "You're not my mom."

My whole body froze; a look of shock and pain pulled on my face. Emma immediately knew that was not a joke to be said, wrapped her little arms around me, and told me "I love you, mom!" at least five times. Off she went to play without another thought about the moment.

For many years, Emma did not understand adoption although we have always talked about it openly and intentionally in our home. Since we recently were given a foster daughter, Emma can see what it means to be raised outside of a biological family. Now the puzzle pieces have come together in her growing mind, "you're not my mom".

06/15/2022

Dear Emma,

I did not get the chance to carry you in my womb or give birth to you. I did not know you until three weeks after your birthday. We do not have DNA to glue us together in this world.

I choose you. I choose you as my daughter, Emma Hope. Every day for as long as I live, I promise to choose you as my daughter. This is an unconditional love that I will always give.

I have to earn the title of "mom" in your life. I do not have an instruction manual or youtube how-to video. I did not receive an automatic title for giving birth. I have to learn who you are and decipher what it looks like to fit in your life as "mom". Please, give me grace.

My sweet angel baby, you have been given a burden to bear since birth. The natural order of your life has been changed. Your biological ties to this world are severed. You have to choose whom you will call mom and dad. I could not understand how that makes you feel, and I wish my love could take that burden from you.

Please, choose me.

Love always,

Leslie